December 15, 2021
It's hard to believe that it has been a year since I received a certified letter from my uncle (on the bio dad's side) claiming that I owe him money. Umm... what? Let's take it back..
My biological father was found deceased on December 5, 2019. He is presumed to have died from a heart attack in his bathroom and was not discovered until approximately two weeks after death. (It appears he had pulled an "Elvis.") I got the call right after I had volunteered at an event in Dillard's at the mall and I quite LITERALLY hollered in the store. I have gotten so much better at using what little tact I have. But the minute that I heard "Your dad died." from my niece, Caitlin, it was like a million pounds had been lifted off my chest. No more living in fear of seeing him or dealing with his drama anymore. Done. Done. DONE!
I called my brother, Chris, and talked with him. We had not spoken in years. Probably since I had lived in Bossier City, LA back in 2008. Our conversation was rough at the beginning, but over the past year we have gotten better about staying in touch. He sent me my uncle's information so that I could contact him as well. Chris had known already and had been trying to get in touch with me, but he had no idea where to start. I drove down to Sarepta, LA that week to my grandmother's house where my uncle and his wife had been. My aunt and uncle met me outside where we sat and talked for about an hour. They had no idea the conditions that I lived in as a teenager living with my bio dad and his wife at the time. That is how bio dad wanted it though. If anyone knew the truth about our lives, living conditions, and the things we lacked then they wouldn't believe the lies he told about me. Then he would be the bad parent instead of me being the bad runaway kid. Grandma's house was so full of stuff. Just stuff. All the things that people collect over the years that make up a life and then another kind of life once your spouse passes on. The smell was horrific. I had never smelled anything like that in my life.
The living room where I spent several Christmas holidays, Thanksgiving Days, and Easter Sundays sitting on the floor playing with my little sister was covered in trash bags, old newspapers, boxes and years of neglect. My grandmother's old furniture was still in the same spot it always had been, and the radio/record player had not been moved in decades, I am sure. The pictures on the wall were in the same place as always but the pictures of bio dad were updated to his most recent ex-wife. The pictures of me and my little sister were still up, too. The spot where my face was had a small picture of my little sister over it. I guess cutting me out of the picture all together was too far. <shrug>
My aunt and uncle offered to let me go in bio dad's room to "get a few things." I couldn't think of anything in particular that I wanted at the time, because I didn't know bio dad. But I told myself that I would get a few things for my little sister and mail them to her. It was crammed full of so much stuff. Most of it was so packed together it was hard to tell what legitimate belongings was, junk, or just trash. My aunt was in there the whole time. I found an old family album and we looked through it together. Everything I looked at, she looked over before putting it in a "Katie" pile. She didn't leave the room as long as I was in there until my uncle came back. It was rather odd to have them hover, but I didn't truly know them. They equally didn't know me either. After about 15-20 minutes in the room, my aunt said "You think you got enough stuff? We need to leave to pay the water bill." I looked up kind of stunned at the way she approached that question. I said "Sure." and left with a bag and a few photos to send to Summer. On the way out the door, I saw a navy-colored pillow that had "PEPAW" monogrammed on it sitting on the back of the couch. "I made that pillow for grandpa when I was in high school home economics!" I said. Without hesitation she said, "You can have it!"
The many details of the following year were stressful, expensive, unanswered, and heartbreaking. Then on December 15, 2020, I got a certified letter in the mail. Detailing the expenses that had accrued on the home and how the ownership of the home broke down. I had no idea that Louisiana Law saw me as one of the heirs to bio dad's part of grandma's home. My uncle made it clear when I went down there that he got bio dad's part of the home because grandma set it up that way. I didn't know any different, so I didn't question it. Anyway, there I was with a letter (which I originally thought he was suing me- he wasn't) that says I am responsible for reimbursing him the money he has spent on the home. Of course, he lists several on this letter that he feels are responsible, how much they should each pay and by when it should be paid.
I have had to endure the process, appointments, time, money and heart ache of one failed attorney, and now a successful one, my little sister calling me a liar through it all, and the unknown of where it all will go. Here I am, a year later and it still isn't resolved. Once I found the correct attorney in Louisiana, the process has been much smoother. We are close to $3000 paid out due to my bio dad's inability to think of anyone but himself. (A combined price of attorney fees, gas, filing fees, and more) At the end of it all, I push myself to keep up the momentum. I won't let this stop. I won't stop until it is all over and done. I don't want any of this to EVER come back on my daughter in the future, so I am pushing for a solution no matter how long it takes.
After following the succession/probate laws of Louisiana, I now own 16.66% of my grandmother's home in Sarepta, LA. I am responsible for ensuring that my portion is sold to the highest bidder or pay the taxes and others that are required of a homeowner in Louisiana. I never thought I would own a home, but here I am being an owner and junk!
So here I am. One year after I got the letter that started the process that brought me to where I am today. The letter that set many great things in motion. Of all the days of the year, I will now be grateful for December 15th. It is no longer bio dad's birthday. It is now the day that he finally gave me something that has meaning- the memory of why I will always be a better person and a better parent to my daughter than he ever was to me.
